If only falling didn't hurt.
It's all about me

Hi there fellow human.
My name's Amanda.
I love to sing, really.
Oh.
And I love food.

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Sunday, March 30, 2008, 5:42 AM

Went west coast for juzsteel.
yeah man,rocks a total of 1234567891049032.
I'd give them 123456789052 stars and thumbs up.
Me and xinyi shouted MADELINE!!
Damn loud lah.Even the MC also noticed and even said it out.ROFL.
Amirah and Rahayu also there.
Then went to look for LiHui they all.
Didn't have any photos taken.ARGHH!!!
lihui had some weird male friends.
ILOVETHEM!Know why?Cos they were wearing stripe tees.
HAHAHAHA.I know I'm mad,duh-.-
Rahayu said I like someone,Amirah said she sot sot one.ROFLMAO.
Oh ya,Rahayu,you still owe me the photo we had last barbeque:/
I'm mad.
And I have to change blogskin,cos cock up:/
Bye.zooooommmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.PINK

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Friday, March 28, 2008, 5:22 AM

HURT.
Yes,that's the only word that can best describe my feeling now:/
How did the section land in this state?
I really don't know.Thanks to me,I guess.
Haha:)
Sometimes,I would lose my importance in the section.
Somewhere out there.
Idk lah,but most of the time I have that feeling.Really.
I think I am going to go bald soon.
Day by day,I am starting to develop symptoms of hair loss.
Chentao,the section,those once good friends,family,studies.
Too much for me to handle.I seriously don't know what to do next.
Me and Xinyi cried today.Because of something.
Can't tell,hehe:x
Well,must train hard together okay?
So that we can strive and reach our target.
That's a promise,and a secret.Yeah:]
You know why our section's not bonded?
We can never get a full section.
Never,maybe except today.But not really:/
I hate to say this,but..I feel the bond between PERCS getting so less.
Maybe I should go eat chocolate.
-.-
sorry,randomness again.
I think I don't need to march already lah.I also not playing.
What for lah:/
I am just going to do my part of everything,and let decisions be made by Heaven
And that's that.Nothing more.
But ChenTao,I am still going to wait for you.


chentao,this is a song that totally reminds me of you.

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Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 5:53 AM

Percussion means everything to me.
Found this photo in Ron's blog.Haha.
anw,this is my 2nd post..haha.




5:15 AM

Hey people,I'm like so worn out.Been down with this effing flu.
what a hassle,with all the eeky tissues to deal with.ewwwww.
Well,so tired.But lucky for me.Ms lim brought us to the computer lab for maths.
She allowed us to surf the internet after we finishe our work.
WOAH!Yayness for once.
Can you imagine crying while you're having this effing flu?Bet you can't.
It's terrible I tell you:/ So uncomfortable lah.hmphh..
tmr,there's band.so tiring.I guess i am really a tap now.haha.nonsense:/
Photobucket
Just being random=.="

14/02/08,Thursday.
Everything was going so smoothly.Really.
I took all risks to go out with you.Yes,i did.
When i saw your so called "god-sister",my heart skipped a beat.
You said she wasn't pretty.But,she is.High expectations, from you?
But you said that she had a boyfriend,who went back to china.
I was still convinced you loved me.
But,the moment I got all shy,
And you start to ignore me,worries were knocking deep in me.
And I start to pour out all my sorrows.After you've left.
You've hurt me so much,till now,I still can't seem to forget you.
And all long posts are meant for you.What's this?!?

All these words are from the deep chamber,down in my heart.Really.
You've hurt me so much,and I doubt you're even aware of that:/
I guess I shouldn't have even waited.
That day still rings in my mind.
I was just so hurt,I just flunged out everything.
I can't live without you.
But things would never be the same again.
Even just being friends with you,means the whole world to me.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008, 6:17 AM

I can't help but to do another post.

i guess things would nvr be the same again.

This sentence kept ringing in my mind.I don't know why.But i guess ChenTao's it.
Even if I were to meet him,or become friends with him again,things would never be the same again.And that's a fact i have to accept.I dreamt of him,we were sitting by the bank of the waters,he cheered up me.But when I woke up,I cried.The dream just went pop.And it never came back after that.It's really tearing me up,like a running tap.The water is gone,but yet,sorrow's there.I don't know what to do next.I feel so helpless.You will never know the feeling of crying when you are having a flu.When I come to think about it,I feel really stupid,crying for a person who has probably forgotten about my existence.Really.Things have been so wrong for me lately.Problems and stuffs just came crashing down.A stop is never put to it.WHY?!I know why.I wasn't good enough for you.But I really miss you like crazy.You are someone i miss so much.I am someone you don't even care about.you don't give a damn about it,right?I'm so sorry,I have been so emotional lately.People,just tolerate,or just walk away.I'm now giving you a choice.Sorry.ChenTao,whatever you have said never failed to affect me emotionally.You always managed to cheer me up,and make me jealous over those girls.I don't know why.But everything's just so sudden.I'm sorry,but I know I am starting to sound like a kid.But I am.I'm only 14,I also need care and concern right.If you see me exceptionally happy,it may mean I am hiding something.Why are fairytales always with a happy ending?But in reality,that never happens.At least for me.I don't know what steps I should take now.I need nothing but chentao.And it can never happen.It's really making me breakdown.I am already so tired with everything,I even have thoughts of putting a stop to my life.But whenever I think about percussion,my studies and my friends who care for me,I just can't bear to.

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4:44 AM

i'm back.
sunday was fun,with all the bbq.and my dear suzuko!she rocks ok.i wrote a letter in japanese for her.rahayu said suzuko was surprised that i knew how to write in japanese.lols.me and denis went macdonalds,on our way back,saw this stupid chocolate man walk infront of us,and kept looking at us.duh-.- suspected he was up to something.wenjie they all so poor thing lah,i guess they didn't really enjoy themselves.kept burning the food.monday,went to the ACM museum.guess its cool.today,came down with a effing flu.felt so sleepy,i can't tahan my tired body.arghh!!i'm siting so to the front,like how am i supposed to sleep lah.in the morning,someting shocking happened to my father's car.made a police report.then had morning run with sheryl and all.guess that's all.wait,i've something to say.IHATETHERAIN:/
anyone who has the bbq photos,please tell me.thanks(:




Saturday, March 22, 2008, 8:41 PM

going for bbq ltr.yays.miss suzuko.shared some secrets with her ytd.haha.shh,suzuko,don't tell okays.wrote a letter in japanese for her.gg to give it to her ltr.xinyi:i would be going for sure.no lies.

i won't think of him.i won't think of him.i won't think of him.i won't think of him.
shit,who am i kidding?!

no doubt things have passed,but the cut is there,still deep and painful.
wht can't you just lie to me.
i'd rather you love me when you don't.

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Friday, March 21, 2008, 4:39 AM

s.h.e




3:51 AM

You people are so damn heartless.
just over one phone,and you all don't let me go.
last minute some more.
if you all don't want to let me go,
then why promise in the first place?
f you all lah.
its like so one quarter fish and 3 quarter duck.

the phone i throw back to you all already loh.
the best you all cannot contact me.
don't even think about.abnormal thoughts.
i really pity you all people leh,done so much sins.
next time must pay back one leh,not scared one meh?
so ke lian lah,you all.
fck yous loh.lame lah.arse lah.
&(^()^$$@#@$!##$Q_(_#&*^!#!^#@!(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wadeva,i heck care you all already lah.
so,just simply four words for you all.
GET OFF MY BACK!!!!!!!!

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Thursday, March 20, 2008, 1:09 AM

Photobucket




hey people,i'm back for more blogging.*evil laughters*
daddy shared quite a number of oldies with me.
even my current blog song is one of them okay.
well,my phone's screen spoilt.congrats to me:/omg,its N80 lah,now i cnt sell it at high price:/
ytd just sucks..thus HUGE sun ray just kept following me wherever i go.then it rained.
-.-
band was fun.did stomp.my solo rocks,yea!haha.shoul go improve more,and think of a solo for the envyl and bowl's solo.
phew~guess i got to pray that mummy's not gonna make a big fuss.lets hope not:]

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008, 2:27 AM

i guess i just have to be back to blog.love my current blog song.knew it through my music teacher.lols.so cute right?oh well,manissa confided somethings to me.i'm glad she did.made a little cheer up card for her.haha,hope she cheers up soon.i can't belive i'm actually comforting others when i need more of it.walked home with sheryl(giant),alger(devil),faiz(elephant),kelvin(idk?).i'm the hippo,faiz,happy?!lols,you are elephant,so don't be too happy yet.tmr still have to go jws.boring,at least can skip lessons.hope concert band can win in the cca race yea.i thought i saw chen tao today,near my hse.i miss you so uber much.can't you just give me some idea where you are,and how you're doing?

ps.faiz,you still owe me 70 cents for the cheese fries.sorry people,i'm just being realistic.

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Thursday, March 13, 2008, 1:25 AM

yes,indeed.faith is one big word.i realised it only now.maybe you and i werent fit to be together.sometimes,i may even want to talk to you,sometimes,i find you disgusting.really.well,i guess the only thing i can do now is to put a stop to everything.maybe you havent even realised the way we're drifiting away.people,amanda's going to mia.and i doubt anyone would even care.


and before that,i've got things to say.

sheryl
you are always the one to cheer me up,encourage me.you are the one and only person i dint lose faith in.and i'm pretty sure i wont.thanks for everything.you're just like a gift from heaven.

xinyi
thank you xinyi,for everything.don't be so sad okays:/ that would only make me feel bad.as though i can't do anything to help you.cheer up.

linda
sister,you are so loved okays.haha.cheer up also.dont always emo face lah.both of us must strive to excel alrights?yeah!

rahayu
oh my darling,thanks for sharing all those woes of yours with me.at least you know you're not alone.thanks for sharing all the things you've learnt,all the obstacles you've managed to overcome.must come back after you graduate.if not,i'll go look for you.mark my words.haha.(ps.thanks for making me sleepless that night:/)

PERCUSSION
percussion,each and everyone of you.all of you really mean something to me for sure.just that my batch,must jiayou together,if not we'll not be able to play the big parts.i suppose no one would want to stick to the small instruments forever right?strive for big parts.like my xylatin,although i'm only playing the bells,but i actually played the mallets.unbelievable but true.even though i'm not really in the position to comment or wadsoeva,but,must buck up okays!xinyi and sheryl,you are both my true darlings.there's only one thing i have in my mind now,and its percussion.i've watched percussion fall and grow.i'm not trying to make myself sound like wadeva,but its true.percussion crying like shiat,percussion laughing like siao.its true.turn words into actions.and you'll see what you want.trust me.so,lets all jiayou together.in both band and studies!yeah!

thats all i've got to say before i go mia.bye.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008, 8:04 PM

sometimes,i really dont understand some people.they'll claim to be your best partner whatsoever,but they are pratically stabbing your back all this time.cant they even spare a thought for people.like,hello,which era are we living in lah,still having that kind of mentality.seriously,i think i am not in the least fit to be in this world,always so left out here and there.this sucks,really.nvm,i dont really give it a damn anw.just do my part,and thats that.thats when im gonna put a stop to everything.the most loved are my parents.other than them,are PERCS,STUDIES,passion for singing.thats all i guess.nth more,i cnt keep too many things in my heart at a time.i guess i was just too naive in the past,thinking that people would actually love you,keeping their options open for you,but,i am just so wrong.be it me being too naive or whateva,i've already given up on everything.im gonna make them regret this,and mark my words.and for that particular person who came to show your dirty little self in my tagboard,you are just some damn WEAKLING who can only be that small dust forever.wadeva it is,you are still just some small freak.and indeed,you are.

read my labels:/

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008, 1:32 AM


okays,went out with mummy today.went shopping,yays. went century square to get the gift from my mum's niece,which makes her my..cousin?it was a cute necklace.then ate shabu shabu,uber nice.trust me,get it from century square.food junction(free publicity.lols?).then went tampines mall to shop.shall not elaborate on that.actually,the most terrible part is we have to be on the bus and train for 3 to 4 hours to and fro.so tiring can.

wore the stripe shirt ,i would call that,today.so happy..photobucket's giving me problems on the editing part.arghh;( well, saw this shirt which says


A silent hug is better than a thousand words.


that's pretty true.i'd rather my boyfriend hug me than talk cock all day.thats a fact.okays,it has been days, and i havent even started on my askandlearn..lols.
REPLIES TO TAGS:
TIFF-ANY♥{: lols.you're chio,whereas i'm not.accept the fact my dear..
xinyi: wth-.- you mean he was touched my someone?anw,i used photobucket,nt that website you mentioned.haha.
sheryl:lols,his name wld nvr be removed.gambatte for wad?lols.

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Sunday, March 09, 2008, 11:29 PM

Photobucket

Igniting into my veins,your love.

nth much to blog about.decided to try out photobucket's editing.
not bad yea?lols.
i miss percussion already...wednesday..thursday.ilovepercs.
nth much to do,so zilian all day.edited the pics anw.

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living in a colourful world.

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(:

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blue cloud(:

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you're my star(:

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(:

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a kiss amidst the black and white.

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mutual trust is the most basic of all.

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like how we used to be,in the past..

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remember me.

i seriously miss you badly,why havent you come back?
anw,wish you all the best in your studies.
i knw you are only sec one,but are already 16.
i'll miss you,i'll always be behind you,waiting for you.
sorry for making it sound so creepy,but,
woaini,wo hui yong yuan deng ni de.1314

42 words

http://speedtest.10-fast-fingers.com">Speed test


omg,i'm so fcking slow..kill me..

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4:11 AM

Why is it that every band camp,it must always turn out like this.
Actually,its not your fault.
It's not any individual's fault.
okays,band camp's overand i'm so glad.
my oh my,torch dance?lols.
same room as rahayu and erin,woots.
well,we cleared almost all of our misunderstandings and everything.
we cried,and i truly hope everyone would change,for the better of cos.
mummy bought stripe jacket,and shirt and everything for me.
DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU NE(:
okay people,i'm officially in love with the song TORCH DANCE.lols.
it's nice,no doubt the damn time signatures sucks like hell.oops.haha.
percussion,jia you.i'll improve myself before i help out..
cos i'm like so NOT FIT to improve others when i'm LIKE THIS myself..lols.




Wednesday, March 05, 2008, 1:30 AM

i wish you were my lollipop,which i'll nvr get enough of..
Okay people,i actually passed my science test.

It's like WOAH,how good can I get?

This Saturday's the band camp,and I've yet to pack my things.Ow..That hurts.

-.-

slacked during chinese.talked to the teacher about all sorts of things,which of cos i am not going to list it all out.haha.had some drug talk today.they talked about sniffing whiteboard markers.does that actually makes the teachers marker sniffers?cos they do that everyday,sniffing AT the marker..thats like,so EWWW.

actually,i had 3 markers with me,hence i was like duh-.- and the man even said in some place,becos of the strict law against drug,they actually had to resort to sniffing COW DUNG to get high.how far can they actually go?ew..enough of that.gotta end here(:

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Monday, March 03, 2008, 11:00 PM

you cnt see me..
..now you cn(:
Hello kittiy wallet..yays!

Watched Mulan during English and PW tdy.

So nice!But,Mrs Tan skipped the last last last part.The LAST LAST PART!Argh!!

Well,I think i lost my addidas jacket.

gosh,omg.i think i'm dead.

FERGELICIOUS~

ihatelinda'shusband,zacharytan..arhghh..he's like so..duh-.-

okay,tomorrow's another boring day.Tomorrow no band,cos of the sports heat.

Which of cos only involves the participants-.-

Then band should resume lah.combine leh..

Friendships,they are NEVER steady..at least thats what i think..


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Sunday, March 02, 2008, 6:04 AM

Should I get this shirt?Or,
this?

Oh my,I seriously love ytd.


Now my parents are out,for a wedding dinner.


Hence,I'm here blogging.I've been on the computer for at least 6 hours.BORED.


Well,finally done.Yay,you all would be able to see it soon.Nice nice ones.


Er,nothing much to blog about.Basically,I'm just bored.


Well,you can't expect much from a person like me.Just simply love my CURRENT blogsong:


fergelicious.Have been putting it for YEARS.


Haha,not that much lah.Just exaggerating.Feel like sleeping already.Tired.

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q87/amandayipkayan/03032008375-001.jpg
I've got white,dark grey,light grey and black.Anyone interested?Brand new ones.

http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q87/amandayipkayan/03032008366.jpg
MINE!